The Mini Budget

It came out, it's done and dusted and it has achieved absolutely zero apart from finally convincing a battered public that we really are leaderless. This was the hardest budget of all time and considering it is only six months since the last one which was a farce as well, perhaps there will be another mini mini budget in two months time. Look lads we got to balance the books and all. Don't blame us, we had nothing to do with it. It's families and the middle class this time. Last time it was the old age pensioners and when they came out fighting, we had to box very clever and all. Look we are all in this together and we are (politicians) taking a ten percent pay cut and putting our pensions on hold. What more can you ask of us? Well let's just say that you average 100K a year so now you are down to 90K and that's tough living lads. Then there's the expenses and all, but times are tough, so let's just say 60K so all told that's 150K. Yurgh the times are tough, I may have to cut down on my make up. No that's not the ladies, that's the men. Look we never had an entertainment tent at the Galway races and all this year, we never flew in on our helicopters. Instead we came by car ( Mercedes Benz.)

So we upped tax between 2 and 6 percent, we doubled health levy rates, we increased the cost of cigarette's by 25p per pack and increased Diesel by 5p a litre. That will teach all you people buying SUV's and all while we are trying to save the environment. As to the fags, sure and all there isn't a government on Earth that doesn't use that as a sure fire winner. We reduced spending on school building and third level capital programmes by 54 million. No Xmas bonuses for people on welfare this year and we have introduced ( sustained applause ) a new retirement scheme for public servants over 50 years ( ageism ) old with no replacements for those who leave.

" We have been damaged by our rejection of the Lisbon Treaty. We must show our EU partners that we, who have gained so much from the European Union, want to remain at it's centre."

What that means is we don't say Yea to Lisbon II the government won't be able to borrow more again even though we already have overstepped our limits there.

Take a look at that photo at the top. That was once a  great building build with workers hands, those self same folks who now have no jobs, no pensions, while daily having to listen to people who were so incompetent that they ran a booming economy into the ground and still have not got the guts to tell us where it all went. It certainly didn't go into school building programmes or the Health Service. Ask the people lying on cots in the hospitals. Ask the nurses who are run off their feet doing their best to serve these people while you are imposing levies on them. Enough.

Gentlemen, your time is up.